On my friend Roxanne’s dieting blog, our friend Kelli, who has lost significant weight in the past year, told Roxanne her strategy to losing weight: “There are no free days. Sorry. It’s the ugly face of tough love.”
I don’t agree with that, but that’s my personal opinion. It’s one I’ve formed because in the past taking on that mentality did not work for me. I lost the weight up front, sure, but eventually I could never stick to the “No free day” mentality, and I would always fall off the wagon.
This time has been different. I decided in the beginning of this process that I wouldn’t push myself too hard too fast. I wouldn’t stick to “diet food” and I wouldn’t make myself go to the gym.
I did promise that I would walk 30 minutes per day, cook healthy meals during the week and have only one free day on Saturday.
I’ve been breaking those rules lately, and a gain of .02 lbs. – while not a significant gain – is still a gain, and that’s not what I’m here to do.
I went through several emotions this morning upon seeing the scale.
First came the excuses: “You never see your sister, and you went to that nice restaurant on Sunday and they had that Kobe burger on the menu … “ and “Pizza and a movie Sunday night was a good idea because you and Nadia rarely have pizza anymore. And you ordered a small and didn’t overindulge but …”
After realizing the excuses were bullshit, I turned to being angry. “Dude, what are you doing? You’re dumb. You’re going to have to post this gain when this could have been avoided.”
I said I wouldn’t push myself too hard too fast, but this week, I barely pushed myself at all and I see now where that gets me.
In the same thread where Roxanne asked for free day advice, Kelli later wrote: “If it were easy…anyone could do it. It’s not easy … not AT ALL. You just have to get yourself in the proper head space and replace bad habits with new good habits.”
I’ve made some good habits in these 11 weeks of this blog. I think about what I put in to my body (for the most part) and eat within portion. I drink lots of water and have incorporated healthy foods including green tea and almonds into my daily diet.
But I have not been walking regularly and I have been lagging when it comes to cooking. I come home from work, chill for an hour and then slowly get to work in the kitchen. I eat too late, which pushes back my walking to the point that I don’t want to do it.
I need to remember that if I want the back pain to go away, if I want to live a longer, healthier life, I need to lose weight. I don’t want to lose weight. I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT.
I will attack this project with a new vigor. I can’t expect to just lose weight, I have to want it, and I have to go and get it. Part of the benefit of this blog is accountability. Now, I have to put my money where my mouth is.
“It’s not easy … not AT ALL,” Kelli said. But I’ve already seen how the results are worth the effort. I can’t be anything other than disappointed with myself when I don’t come through on my part of the deal.
I will not let that happen again.
As for the scale: Today I weigh 240.1 lbs. I weighed 239.9 lbs. last Monday, my 10th week of blogging. That’s a one-week gain of .2 lbs. I started this blog weighing 258 lbs. That’s a total loss of 17.9 lbs.